WeiLun(onFCKINGfire)

2010-12-06T08:11:00.001-08:00

Final post.

2010-12-03T08:34:00.001-08:00

I am so out of topics.

I probably knew this would happen. Ohwell.

2010-12-02T08:13:00.000-08:00

I kinda wonder.

Efforts could probably be expressed as a sand glass.

First, you're full of sand(efforts), just waiting to seep through.

Then ultimately when all your sand has sept through, you're left

with nothing. At this point, if you get what you want, then congrats.

If not, you'll probably need to turn over the sand-glass and try

again. Now, this is the problematic part. You probably would be fine

trying for the second or third time. But as time goes past, you might

not be as willing to do it. Ultimately, turning the sand-glass over becomes

a chore and it drains every last bit of your energy.

Question is, what do you from here on?

2010-12-01T10:00:00.001-08:00

A lot of valuable advice from my closest friends.

Now, I'm on my own. Gotta make this work.

2010-11-30T13:34:00.000-08:00

I'm losing sleep every night.
Every, fucking, night.
I don't know, I don't know at all.
All these stuffs, they just come all at once.
How am I supposed to react?

When everything seems so uncertain, you're even more
uncertain. Where are we going from here?
What direction are we heading in?
Are we in the same direction?

Interns, studies, money. I swear this is the
most fucking fucked up predicament I'll ever be in.

2010-11-30T07:11:00.001-08:00

Where is this heading?

2010-11-29T16:17:00.001-08:00

Hm.

Are you thinking of me?

2010-11-29T07:38:00.001-08:00

I hope this works,

2010-11-27T10:14:00.001-08:00

If I'm comfortable with how things are, can they stay the same?

I didn't know it'd be this hard to be objective.

2010-11-26T07:48:00.000-08:00

You know, if I had money, it'll all go to travelling around the world with
my closest friends. None of that clubbing, drinking or smoking shit.

But yeah, don't really have a choice.

Such a pity that I don't.

2010-11-26T07:42:00.001-08:00

Hmm.

Common test coming soon.

2010-11-25T06:52:00.001-08:00

What if it's all meant to be?

2010-11-22T07:36:00.000-08:00

Secret love, my escape, take me far far away.
Secret love, my escape, are you there, will you answer my prayer?
Please take me anywhere but here
Anywhere but her

2010-11-21T08:39:00.000-08:00

'Cause girl I gotta thing for you.
And I think it's kinda crazy,
'Cause I know that you have someone too,
Wonderin where you were last night.
For now i'll say goodbye
But don't think we're through,
I gotta thing for you...

2010-11-21T08:37:00.000-08:00

I wanna hear you say
We're better off that way

Better off being lovers than friends
Lesser off being friends than lovers

2010-11-21T07:52:00.001-08:00

I am so bored

2010-11-21T03:15:00.001-08:00

Christmas and New Year.

Times like this, I really wonder how I would spend them.

2010-11-17T06:33:00.000-08:00

I'm moving around everyday, in hope of something real
I'm hoping with every passing day, I'd have something to feel

After all these times, I'm still me
After all these times, I have nobody to be

2010-11-16T20:44:00.000-08:00

I wanna go for overseas attachment, but no money.
Just one of those times where I envy those who
can get whatever they want.

-.-

2010-11-16T08:15:00.000-08:00

Stupid fucking dreams. Trust them to recur after such a fucking long time.

Stupid fucking past, stupid fucking period of fucked up shit.

2010-11-16T07:49:00.001-08:00

Need a break, I'm gonna die soon.

2010-11-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

You asked me go and I
Keep gyming, keep keep gyming sia
I Keep gyming, I keep keep gyming sia
Keep gyming, keep keep gyming sia.
You asked me go...

2010-11-14T05:04:00.001-08:00

I don't know why, but I'm gonna go on.

2010-11-12T10:25:00.001-08:00

Don't know how it goes for you, I'm not having a good time.

2010-11-11T08:24:00.003-08:00

谁都以为不听不看也就没感觉

2010-11-11T07:57:00.001-08:00

Burn out. Totally.

2010-11-09T07:29:00.001-08:00

Yeah, life still goes on.

2010-11-08T07:57:00.001-08:00

I'm so fucking invulnerable.

2010-11-08T05:06:00.001-08:00

I've learned not to promise anything in the spur of a moment, but I always do.

2010-10-30T05:00:00.001-07:00

Back in action

2010-10-18T10:48:00.001-07:00

After a long search for your true self, you kind of become who you're
supposed to be, not who you want to be.

2010-10-18T08:05:00.001-07:00

Sian.

2010-10-15T10:02:00.001-07:00

Wow.

I promptly realize how amazingly beautiful some people are.
It's no wonder people are saying life is unfair.
Oh well.

2010-10-14T08:09:00.001-07:00

Start of a drought of activities. Zzzz

2010-10-13T23:01:00.001-07:00

Super duper bored. Zzzzzzzz

2010-10-13T08:32:00.001-07:00

I wonder if I can feel this good without alcohol.

2010-10-13T06:33:00.001-07:00

And I realized I never took another step ever since.
I'm still where I was.

2010-10-13T00:10:00.001-07:00

So difficult to understand.
So much turbulence.

2010-10-10T10:00:00.001-07:00

Now I know what I want.
No more wasting time on stupid things.

2010-10-10T05:30:00.000-07:00

Half of poly-life is gone.

I can still remember the first day.
Traveled to school with Liwei and Alyssa(I think) to
attend the DPA camp which left a deep impression on me - for life.

Made lots of friends from then till now, can't believe I'm already halfway through it.

2010-10-09T04:59:00.001-07:00

Loving my life~

2010-10-08T14:38:00.001-07:00

Headache. -.-

2010-10-07T18:26:00.001-07:00

These few days have been truly tormenting as I try to sort my thoughts. I remembered how it started, what it turned into and how it ultimately came to a hiatus. It’s like a journey, but I remained stagnant after a while.

I recall the last conversation we had was a minor argument about her ex-boyfriend. I felt very indignant because I was the one to provide a shelter for her emotions while her ex-boyfriend kept pouring pain and lies on her. At the end of the day, she stood up for him.

I felt like a complete idiot at that time. I felt as if I’ve sunk to the deepest depth.

A sense of betrayal? I don’t know, my mind was in a whirl at that time.

What would you do if you were in my shoes? Everyone said to hold on and I’ll see the silver lining some day. It’s easier said than done. I understand fully that even if I were to give her everything I can, she wouldn’t stay. At least she’s not obliged to. Words versus feelings. I know how it should be, but I felt otherwise.

And when I stopped contacting her, she didn’t even try to find out. I guess that sets everything in stone,

I’m easily replaceable to her. I don’t care that it’s her character not to initiate a conversation first because I think this goes way beyond that. This isn’t a simple issue of who initiates the conversation, but who actually cares.

After that time, I never did try to reflect on what happened. It was a chapter of my life that I left it hanging there. I ignored everything and tried to move on. I didn’t talk about it to anyone.

I then realized all along I’ve been looking for someone to fit into her mould.

As I’ve reached this paragraph, a sense of resentment grew in me. I’m probably very resentful against the way things turn out. After so long, after so much that’s been said or done, it had to come to this. Before I started writing this, I thought at the end of it I’d realize she still mean something to me. But this feeling of resentment is overwhelming.

Ultimately I realized that there wasn’t a proper closure. There wasn’t a “final showdown”. There wasn’t a full stop.

I don’t know what I’m trying to tell you here. I’m just writing down whatever that comes to my mind.

2010-10-07T05:33:00.001-07:00

Hmm.

What happened to all the spontaneous people whom
you can call and meet them 15minutes later?

2010-10-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

If you don't have time to stop and enjoy the scenery,
you wouldn't know how beautiful it is.
You wouldn't miss it because you never knew how it's like.
Not being able to miss someone/something isn't always something bad, because
the feeling of missing someone/something sucks to the core.

Yet at the end of the day, you don't know anything else
other than being constantly on the move.

2010-10-03T13:28:00.001-07:00

I think I'm really missing you.

Missing how we used to be...

2010-10-03T05:45:00.001-07:00

We all learn from mistakes.
Hmm...

It's ridiculously shocking that I've pushed the right people
out of my life and let the wrong ones in.

2010-09-28T07:47:00.001-07:00

Words, words, words.

All sorts of words are appearing in my mind.

Picking the right words.... Hmm...

2010-09-26T08:05:00.001-07:00

I'm gonna write a song.
A song about you.
A song, that you'll hate.

2010-09-24T11:02:00.001-07:00

If it's as easy as just doing or showing, then I wouldn't have sleepless nights.

2010-09-24T08:47:00.001-07:00

Strong, how strong?
Wit, how much?

At some point in life, we just have to close our eyes, clench our fists
and grit through it.

2010-09-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

I am in misery
There ain't no other
Who can comfort me
Why won't you answer me?
Your silence is slowly killing me
Girl you really got me bad
You really got me bad
I'm gonna get you back
Gonna get you back

2010-09-18T09:39:00.001-07:00

When we start, when do we stop?

2010-09-14T11:16:00.001-07:00

Boring

2010-09-01T13:01:00.001-07:00

You guys are not the only one who hope that I have a story of my own

to speak of.

I do, too.

Anyway I found my lifelong goal.

My aim is to open a bar/pub where people can catch up with each

other and hang out. There'll be sections for youngsters, adults and

older people. There'll be different theme for each age group and

different rooms have different dress code.

That's pretty much it for now!

2010-08-31T09:53:00.001-07:00

Happy Teacher's Day!

2010-08-26T09:43:00.001-07:00

I don't foresee good days ahead.

But I'll get this shitty exams done and over with.

Looking forward to going overseas during the holidays!

Addicted to travelling with friends~

2010-08-24T11:56:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I hate how life forces you to grow up.

I remembered back in secondary school, I have lots of

things I wanna do with different people. The list goes on

and on. I told myself that I'd one day do those things.

Couple of years later, I realized that life's not

that simple.

Sometimes it's not you breaking your promise, but being

prevented to fulfill the promise.

2010-08-18T11:15:00.001-07:00

How do you balance what you want from relationships and

what you want from life?

Can you even want something from relationship?

I've heard of giving, but not wanting. It simply doesn't happen,

you have to have a giver who grants your wants.

What do you do when relationships and life overlaps?

How do you define the line?

So many hows, so many whats. So many things going on, going wrong,

but life still goes on.

2010-08-18T10:02:00.000-07:00

Aika is so fucking disappointing.

There goes my escapade. Fucking hell.

2010-08-17T10:21:00.001-07:00

I'm so sick of this man.

It strains every conversation that we have, till the point that

we're talking about literally the same things.

I'm drifting away from all the right people. No. Fuck.

2010-08-16T08:27:00.001-07:00

Fucking tired. Zzzz.

Changing job soon, all the free time is killing me.

2010-08-15T07:44:00.000-07:00

It's not difficult to accept that you're left behind or betrayed.

It's just hard to accept that the person who did that was someone

you cared a lot for, and you know you'd never treat him/her like that.

2010-08-14T11:50:00.001-07:00

Always have a reason for doing something.

If not when you're down and out, you have no

motivation to continue on the path.

2010-08-14T11:46:00.001-07:00

If we easily accept that things are not meant to be, we

wouldn't find the reason to fight for.

2010-08-14T08:45:00.001-07:00

You'll never realize how it's like until you step into it.

2010-08-14T01:43:00.000-07:00

There are so many examples I can use to depict the importance

of being self-reliance for many things.

If you wanna get out of the rain, you gotta move to a shelter.

You can't expect someone to stop the rain, though someone might

hold an umbrella for you. The thing is, when is that person gonna appear?

Are you gonna stand in the rain till that someone appears?

Or would you rather stay under the shelter?

For the latter, that someone may just be in that shelter, but you'd

never know cause you stood in the rain, unwilling to move.

2010-08-13T10:02:00.001-07:00

What? No, LOL.

I'm not gonna take that shit.

2010-08-12T09:58:00.000-07:00

Why do I get the idea you're stringing me along?

Finally after so long, and it has to come to this.

But am I trying? What exactly am I doing?

Am I looking for a shortcut? Myself of all people should

know that there's never a shortcut.

2010-08-11T07:53:00.000-07:00

I never realized that you need to be ready to step into something.

Ted's words in HIWYM didn't make much sense to me,

it was just gogogo for me. Now it makes a lot of sense.

2010-08-10T11:10:00.000-07:00

Everything comes when you stop looking for it.

Hmm?

Does it really come when you stop looking for it?

Or do you just learn to accept that you will never find it,

and thus settles for whatever that's there.

Latter, I believe.

2010-08-06T12:18:00.001-07:00

I'm stepping into something that I shouldn't.

It won't end the way I want it to, definitely.

2010-08-06T09:56:00.001-07:00

Hmmm.....

Different perspective of people.

Interesting.

2010-08-05T10:19:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm after attending some Quit-Smoking workshop as a favor

to my friend, I've decided to write a letter to the future me. HAHAHAHA.

Dear Future WeiLun,

I hope you're still learning how to be like Barney Stinson(How I Met Your Mother)

and not drowning yourself in work.

I sincerely hope you're not working your ass off just to pay

some mortgage loans or your brand new car. Although a nice car

would be nice, but please get something that you can afford.

I hope you've matured a lot more by the time you read this letter. Seriously,

you need to start looking for stuffs to do during weekends. Everyone's probably

gonna start getting attached, so if you're not, go take up a hobby. Go fish, swim,

play online games or whatever it is. Or if you're already 28, I hope you already have a daughter.

Just in case you're wondering when you're writing this, today is 6th of August 2010, 1.22AM.

That's right, I don't know if you still have the time to do such things at 1AM now.

Just so you know, statistics show that people think better late at night. Just kidding.

HAHAHAHA.

You'll probably still be loving rock, and most notably Paramore.

DO NOT STOP LISTENING TO PARAMORE.

You'll probably still be a jackass and hang out anywhere and everywhere with the

pirate gang. Good to hear that. You'll probably still play mahjong till the next morning.

That's all I have now.

Till then~

18years old WeiLun

2010-08-05T08:55:00.000-07:00

I suddenly remembered how I started trying to put

things behind me.

It suddenly dawned on me years back that all these

"sacrifices" and "pain" I was going through will not

ever reach the other party. And the most anything would happen

was after years gone by, we might sit down somewhere and

start reminiscing. If I'm going through so much now just so

I can tell her after years gone by, it wouldn't be very sensible.

That was my very mindset years ago. Ever since, I found it easier to move on.

You decide how you wanna live, how you wanna feel and how you wanna

wake up feeling like. That's one damn thing that we're all capable of being

independent about.

2010-08-05T06:58:00.001-07:00

The season is here again.

Yeah, feels nostalgic.

I suppose it's gonna be like this for quite

some time.

2010-08-03T07:20:00.001-07:00

My envy can't describe how I loathe you for having all the stars.

Leaving my eyes to marvel the sky knowing it should be mine.

2010-08-03T06:15:00.001-07:00

On someone else's star.

2010-07-30T06:48:00.000-07:00

Don't see the point at all.

Eh eh eh, might be going to malaysia with classmates.

Wooo would be fun. HAHAHA

2010-07-29T09:08:00.000-07:00

This sem is ending.

So the end of sem 3....

Time passes so fast. The transition from secondary school

to poly is unbelievable, never realized that I can become

the person I am today.

2010-07-25T09:10:00.003-07:00

Sigh, why the fuck is everything going so wrong at this moment.

So fucking sick of it.

_|_

2010-07-25T08:18:00.000-07:00

Folded the same 5 pieces of clothes a zillion times today.

Oh well. Working at JP can be fun and fulfilling too.

But ultimately it really boils down to your colleagues.

And yeah, of course customers.

2010-07-24T08:32:00.001-07:00

Shit man.

I'm getting so distracted during work.

Today's probably the worst I've done so far.

Need to stop being distracted.

2010-07-23T07:39:00.001-07:00

Hmmm....

Haley Williams will be my wallpaper!

2010-07-22T04:44:00.000-07:00

From now on, whenever I'm feeling sad or low...

I'll just be awesome.

2010-07-20T07:47:00.001-07:00

Jialat. Nostalgic.

This feeling is coming back again.

Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

I shall not let it get the better of me.

Actually I'm wondering, what exactly is love?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA sounds so corny.

But yeah, it seems confusing~

2010-07-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

Somehow I realized that long-time friends who don't really

talk a lot will not realize how much each other has changed.

But the good thing is we're still able to talk like before.

2010-07-14T04:21:00.001-07:00

Sigh, lesson learned.

I guess it's like learning to work with different people.

You can't always expect to work with the same old people

however you may love to.

Need time, but no time left.

2010-07-13T07:54:00.000-07:00

Woooooo.

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Godddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd.

OK so random.

I've just realized how fast time passes ( for the 100th time )

We're having our exams soon, and then we'd be in the second

half of year 2. It's like a football match(fever haven't subsided), except

that there's no substitution of players when you're tired

or injured.

2010-07-12T08:06:00.001-07:00

Busy, busy.

Man, the yearning gets worse~~~

2010-07-12T08:06:00.000-07:00

Busy, busy.

2010-07-07T13:48:00.001-07:00

FUCK GERMANY IS OUT.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2010-07-04T11:02:00.001-07:00

Kinda glad it's going well.

One of those times when I'm pretty glad

when things go well for my _|_bros.

Collection's starting in a few hours.

GOGOGOGOGOGO

2010-07-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

ZZZZ.

Glad to see that.

Amazingly, some people are so different in real life.

And of course there are some whom I wished they'd remain

as my cyber friends forever. Thanks.

Yes I need to lose weight. After Operation Juvi then.

And yes I'm still single, aka alone. -.-

2010-07-02T16:53:00.001-07:00

Germany must crush Argentina and Spain!

2010-07-01T08:46:00.001-07:00

Tell me, how exactly can you find people who cares enough?

Really have no time to care, no energy to waste and nothing to fall back on.

We just have to go on and on and on, until we reach the finishing line.

2010-06-30T05:34:00.000-07:00

And I can be on the last train home,

watch it pass the day, as it fades away.

No more time to care, no more time.

This is it man! Slowpokes can't win the race!

Zzzzzzzz. OH WELL.........!

2010-06-28T19:24:00.001-07:00

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/1qeem0/www.ponderabout.com

/archives/2660/perception_of_spouse.aspx

2010-06-28T08:08:00.001-07:00

And if you ever want me there, you just need to tell me.

2010-06-27T10:41:00.001-07:00

Could have handled it better.

SIGH.

Oh well, it's over.

Lesson learned.